Snapped this photo in LA.
Snapped this photo in LA.
Some days you have First World problems. And some days you suddenly realize you are having 1% First World problems and have become a caricature. Yes indeed… you are the ass getting the internal eye-rolls from the cashier and other customers.
Setting the stage. I’m at Whole Foods (eye roll #1) after Crossfit (eye roll #2):
I won’t continue as I managed to a) talk to someone who in theory is taking my feedback seriously, b) annoy several decent people at a grocery store, and c) become a character in Portlandia or maybe “Best in Show” (this is clearly not a busy bee! are you trying to be unhelpful!)
My only redemption was realizing at some point how silly this sounded, smiled, thanked all involved and wished them a good day and sincerely meant it. This humility should get me through the weekend at least.
You’ve been there… your food arrives at a restaurant and suddenly some waiter asks “would you like fresh ground pepper?” You were about to start eating your food so a) this is an interruption and b) you never typically use freshly ground pepper from a 3 foot long pepper grinder, and c) you have spent most of your life trying to fight off the moment when you can no longer season your own food. “Um… yeah… sure…” you mumble trying to avoid eye contact since you don’t want to be that jerk, you know the guy who is telling this poor waiter no. You know the waiter has been coached to offer pepper as a way to improve customer satisfaction i.e. the personal touch.
I bet there was a time in the 80’s or 90’s when this was a special moment. The high-end restaurants would do a little something extra for you; they would grind some pepper right there in front of you. But it has spread pretty much everywhere now. And it makes no sense and should be stopped.
It’s time. Restaurants should either buck up and put the pepper grinders on the table or just acknowledge that the whole thing was a funny little hoax.
¹ And yes, I know that some fancy-schmanzy places do bring out special salts. This is stupid too since they all pretty much taste like salt. Except the lava salt which tastes like dirt and salt. And the smoked salt that tastes like… wait for it… smoke and salt.
Source: xkcd: Time Management | Bricin
The things that catch me about this post are:
Source: xkcd: 2016 Conversation Guide
I generally agree with XKCD but on hoverboards there can be no compromise: those crappy sideways skateboards are not hoverboards. They are crappy sideways skateboards or mini-Segways if you must.
No, not that kind of toast. This guy is hit-or-miss for me, but the more I think about this, the more I can imagine the wedding, the guests at first thinking “oh wow, deep, romantic” and then the zinger hits.