With the inept (and worse!) politicians we have today the time has come for me to throw my hat in the ring. For one, it really can’t get much worse than today. For another I am starting to show a little bit of “distinguished gray” at the temples – that’s some solid credentials there people.
My platform is simple, it consists of five (5) points.
- Prius drivers are banned from the left lane on all roads. If there is only one lane, they cannot use that road.
- If you cannot use Reply All correctly in email – you will be deported somewhere (we’ll figure out where later, this is big thinking)
- All video-conferencing companies must end each call with a heartfelt apology “we’re sorry this was such a terrible experience – here is a $20 gift card for your pain”. The amount is doubled for Skype for Business.
- If you screw up in the TSA Pre line, it’s a yellow card. Two yellow cards and you have to spend the next two trips in the standard TSA line.
- Pineapple is forbidden as a pizza topping. It’s not Hawaiian, it’s wrong. If caught trying this you will be assigned “what kind of pizza do you want to order” duties in group settings for the rest of your life. My administration will be tough, but fair.
My team will be taking donations and of course “pay to play” cash payments like the current President does. Stay tuned.